I'm a career expert

Release time：2024-05-21 17:11:28 Source：Stellar Standpoint news portal

A career coach has revealed the signs that your boss is gaslighting you and how you can overcome a toxic work environment to succeed in your job.

Fiona Harold, a top executive coach, business mentor and consultant from Northern Ireland, revealed some top warning signs of a toxic boss, which you can spot in the ways in which they manage people. 

Speaking to FEMAIL, Fiona encouraged people who are struggling in the workplace to 'take control' of the situation and 'not allow your wellbeing, happiness and career progression to be compromised by one person'. 

She shared her top red flags that signal an unhealthy workplace, and revealed her tools for being able to cope. 

Fiona said that bosses are likely behaving in this way because they feel insecure about their abilities, especially if they have just received a promotion (stock image)

Fiona's workplace red flags 

The first sign that your boss may be toxic is if they dismiss your concerns about the assignments you are given. 

Fiona, author of Be Your Own Life Coach said: 'When you raise a concern about being able to complete an assignment in the time given to you, your concern is swept aside. 

'They may suggest you’re overthinking or overestimating the time needed, or perhaps being a perfectionist, but your concern is not considered or discussed.'

Another indicator of a bad manager is when they put off discussing your concerns - or even deny that such a conversation ever took place.

'When you ask for more time or miss the deadline, your earlier conversation is denied having ever happened. Your boss says [they] have no recollection of the conversation,' Fiona said. 

Being blamed for lateness is also on the list of red flags you should watch out for, the career expert said.

Fiona said: '[Your boss] isolates and identifies [you] as the sole reason the work is late, and [that] a chain of events is held up because of you.' 

She added that because the finger is pointed at you, your peers may see you as the problem.

How can you protect yourself from toxic workplaces? 

Fiona Harold, a top executive coach, business mentor and consultant, spoke to MailOnline about the warning signs in management behaviours that you should not ignore

Fiona said that those struggling with toxic office behaviours should avoid having confidential one-on-one conversations with their boss.  Instead, they should ensure that others are present in meetings. 

Sparking a conversation with your boss to try and resolve this issue is also important. 

'Ask them for their recommendations. Do this in a clear, confident way, that does not suggest that you are in the wrong or guilty of anything,' the coach said. 

Another way to tackle this behaviour is to always get agreements in writing and ensure you have a paper trail. This means that nothing can be denied and there is evidence of what has been said in conversations. 

Asking HR and requesting a mentor could help ease tensions in the office. 

'Ideally, this is someone more senior in your organisation, who understands the environment,' she said. 

'This is not a sign of weakness, but of ambition and commitment. It is crucial that you do not feel isolated and alone with this problem but find the right way to get support.

Importantly, Fiona reminded people that being gaslighted by their boss is not their fault.

She said. 'It's vital not to collude in a dynamic that could leave you feeling that you’ve done something wrong. It would be easy to start to think you must have done something or been negligent. See clearly that this person is behaving in an unprofessional way and you don’t deserve this treatment.'

The author said that bosses are likely behaving in this way because they feel insecure about their abilities, especially if they have just received a promotion. 

'A person who is confident in themselves has no need to undermine another,' she added. 

She added it could also be a sign that they have narcissistic tendencies or suffer from mental health issues.

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